Consort Note
by random passager
Summary: What if the God of Death is the God of Love. What if Death Note is a "match-making" note. What if Shinigamis are actually Cupids. Valentine special! AU, OOC and yaoi.
1. How to Use: N

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

_Day after day, it's always the same people. The world is rotten._

**How to Use: N (nulla)**

"Ouch!" Misa Aname, a student of the Daikoku Private Academy, picked up a flashy red notebook that had just fallen on her head. She read the title and the instructions.

_The human whose name is written in the note shall fall in love._

_You may write two or more names with an X between them to specify a wanted consortion._

"Consort Note, huh? Bullshit!" At first, she thought it was a prank. However, she still kept it and went home to try out. If it were real, then she would get control of anyone's fate. And if it were really real, she might become the God of Love and any couple could be created under her pen. Any? Just how much control she could get? There might be a limit. Not much was specified in the instruction – so what about homosexuals, pedophiliac, zoophiliac, objectophiliac, and the list goes on (well, yeah, it mentioned "human name", so animal and object must be excluded). But, just to test her freedom, once she finally got home, Misa started writing.

_Light Yagami X Ryuuzaki_

_Watari X Light Yagami_

_Ryuuzaki X sugar_


	2. How to Use: I

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: I**

_Names do not need to be specific. Nicknames or alias are allowed__. However, this note will not take effect unless the writer has the person's face in their mind. Therefore, people sharing the same name will not be affected._

In the cupid realm, a determined district in heaven, everything was filled with clouds of affection and an erotic atmosphere. All was so beautiful that the cupids were bored. Even if they had their _Consort Note_, they could only consort one couple per three hundred billions solar eclipses – unless if their notebook was in the hand of a mortal. So, some delinquent cupids decided to drop purposely their _Consort Note_ down in the human world, like how Ryuk did. Finally, they could have some fun for the approaching Valentine's Day.

Once Ryuk received the first words of his notebook's new master, he quickly set himself to work. But just before he stretched out his angelic wings, Rem joined him.

"Looks like Ryuk-kun has some new targets now. Do you mind if we cross the heaven's gate together?" the white cupid asked.

"So, you, too, have new targets," the pink cupid answered.

"Yeah, and it's a dramatic quadruplet. Light Yagami, Ryuuzaki, Watati and sugar. Haha… Not sure if I can hit sugar." She waved her small bow. "Ryuuzaki he already likes sugar a lot."

"What? Did you just say that Light Yagami is one of your targets?"

"Yeah!"

"I have him, too."

This was not the first time when two cupids have the same target, it happened every day. Every time that happen, they like to gamble, which had become a very boring game to Ryuk.

"Great, let's have a bet." Rem's suddenly became more enthusiastic.

"Nay, I'm sick of that gambling. How about we level up this game?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hm… I have Light with himself. (Well, he's already a narcissist.) You have him with whom?"

"Him X Ryuuzaki and Watari X him."

"Hm… Hehehe… I got the idea!"


	3. How to Use: II

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to use: II**

_If the cause of __consortion__ is not specified, it's up to the cupids to decide._

Light just got a very bad nightmare. He dreamt that he was in Ryuuzaki's body and could get back to himself anymore. But of course, it was just a foreshadowing; once he looked around and found himself in an unfamiliar room, and then made his way to a washroom and looked at his face in the mirror, he almost got a heart attack.

What happened? Didn't he just dream about a pink cupid who seemed to have told him something like a prophecy? "To get back into yourself, find the 'something'. But when February strikes 15, it'll be too late! Hahaha!"

Sure. If there really existed such a thing called "something" that would make him go back to himself, that cupid should have specified more – or at least, tell him where to start. Oh, his perfect self! He couldn't dare imagine staying in Ryuuzaki's body for the rest of his life.

And what happened to his body and Ryuuzaki's soul.

Watari, Ryuuzaki's butler, entered the washroom in his pajama like he was supposed to if Ryuuzaki woke up unusually early in the morning. "Master, are you O.K?"

It was the first time Light saw Watari. He never entered Ryuuzaki's house before. But when the old man called him "master", he could guess that this man must be a servant.

Indeed, Ryuuzaki was rich. He did not appear to be, though. At school, he always wore the same cloth and school uniforms, and he must have never washed them unless they are unbearably stained. Also, he never arranged his hair. Some girls at school agreed that he had a remarkable uncommon _cool_ style – with his weird sitting pose and his eyes' big dark circles. Although his richer and his intelligence was at the same level as Light's, Light never took his existence into significance. But now, it looked like there was an undeniable bound between them. Whatever that bound meant, Light decided not to overreact and pretend to be Ryuuzaki until he met his body again.

"I-heu… I had a bad dream."

For the first time in 50 years Watari smiled flowery like he never hear something as cute as this reply. Something different he saw in Ryuuzaki's eyes. Something like electric current shot his neurons. Something like hurricane flushed him down. Something like "something" made him increase his heartbeat and obstruct his breath. His turns back – and red – and said: "well,… it'll almost be school to go to time, heu… time to go to school. I'llgomakebreakfast!"


	4. How to Use: III

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: III**

_Only those who touched Consort Note will see its respective cupid. However, cupid does not need to follow his Notebook._

Watari dropped Light in front of the school gate. Ryuuzaki's uniforms weren't that bad after all. They were used but inodorous. Perhaps, Ryuuzaki didn't sweat a lot. But one thing that was bad was the fact that his backbones were deformed and no matter how Light tried, he couldn't stand straight.

In class, Light waited for Ryuuzaki to show up in his body. "Since this happened to me, the same thing must have happened to him," he thought. But Ryuuzaki entered the class only after the teacher finished taking the presence, with a lollipop in his mouth. It was his habit to always have something sweet around. But everyone seemed to take him as light.

"Mr Yagami, you're late!" The teacher said without turning his look away from his attendance sheet.

"Sorry, I don't have an alarm clock."

Light almost fell off his chair. In fact, he never used alarm clock because he could wake up each day on time without any alarm. It was a natural or almost genetic ability to wake up automatically, like roosters'. On the other hand, Ryuuzaki always need something or someone, like Watari, for a morning call.

"Are you saying this isn't your fault?" The teacher poked his glasses. "If you didn't add those extra words after 'sorry', I would let you in without any punishment. But since this is not the case, I'll ask you to do your speech first."

How shameful, it was the first lateness in Light's entire life record – and of course it wasn't his fault; and worst, Ryuuzaki must do Light's speech. This speech was part of the mid-term evaluation. It needed a miracle to pass, not only because Ryuuzaki's speech improvisation ability was low, also because he completely didn't know the content of Light's speech. The topic was given by the teacher and it was the same for all students. But Ryuuzaki had already passed yesterday; he couldn't just repeat his ideas.

Ryuuzaki walk to the front of the class. He looked confident and calm. Maybe he doesn't care, because this grade would go to Light's record anyway. So he stepped behind the rostrum, his eyes scanned the classroom. When he saw his body, i.e.: Light, he stopped, frizzed. While everyone else was waiting and gazing at him, he just stood there, looking at Light and those big dark circles. Light looked back, waiting. His eyes and _his_ eyes… They finally stopped looking at each other when Light decided to turned his head away. Ryuuzaki moved and began, "That is all I have to say for the earthquake in Haiti."

Hearing that, Light almost broke his pen. However, everybody else applauded. "Amazing, as expected from Light!" Misa commented. Somehow that small sentence turned out to be all Ryuuzaki _needed_ to say.


	5. How to Use: IV

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: IV**

_Details of the consortion can be added at anytime, provided that they are rational and prospective._

After class, Ryuuzaki went directly to the library. Light followed him until they arrive at the end of a row in the back.

"I knew you want to talk to me." Ryuuzaki finished his lollipop.

"If you knew, why come here?"

"Don't you want to talk in a more private place?"

"So, you are really Ryuuzaki. Well, let's just skip to the main point then. What did you do to my body?"

"Don't get me wrong, I didn't do anything."

"If it weren't you, why do you expect I would want to talk with you?"

"Your eyes told me. The way you looked at me this morning, I could feel an eager of interrogation. But I'm afraid that there aren't much thing I can tell you only that I had a dream about a demon who told me to find 'something'."

"That was a cupid."

"Really? He didn't look like a cupid. So, you had the same dream as me? That cupid must have paired us."

"Don't be ridiculous. The only circumstance I accept to be paired with you is to find the 'something' and to get my body back."

"Huh? Why?"

"What do you mean why? I don't want to be stuck in your body forever."

"But I kind of like this."

"What?"

"When your sister woke me up this morning and I saw myself in the mirror, I was surprised, but it wasn't a bad surprise – how should I say – maybe I like to be in your body, or maybe I like your body."

This was the worst conclusion that Light had ever imagined. In his perception, his feature was too perfect and any ordinary person would die to have his body. So, what if Ryuuzaki didn't want to give it back?

"If you refuse to cooperate, then I'll have no choice but to take your wealth, kill your servant, burn down your house and continue harass you until you give up."

"How intimidating! Why can't you just accept and adapt? Is my body not suitable to your personal criteria?"

"Don't those questions have obvious answers?"

"That must proof that the rumors are right: you are narcissist."

"There are nickname about you too, such as cake machine, glucosephilia."

"It's true, but your body affinity has already surpassed my love for sweet. I'm sure that soon, my body will conquer your heart, too – once you can't bear the need of intimate solitary pleasure."

"I'll make sure that won't happen – and furthermore, I'll make sure that you won't do anything inadequate with my body."

"Oh, can you really do that? I'm curious."

Ryuuzaki approached Light's hand and kissed. Light didn't move, but he was disguised. Ryuuzaki began to suck his finger tip.

"If you dare to go further…"

"… Yeah."

Ryuuzaki untie his top uniform bottoms. Light jumped on him and took away his hand away from his mouth. He then used a paper tissue to wipe off the saliva on the finger tip. When he was done, he approached Ryuuzaki closer, so he could make his next words clearer.

"If that happens again, I'll castrate you."

There was something weird in his voice, as if he had lost confidence, or just a little. But one thing was sure, Light had never been so close to his _own_ body before.


	6. How to Use: V

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: V**

_If a person is tagged in more than one consortion, there shall be competition._

Light convinced Ryuuzaki to live together, because he was too scared that Ryuuzaki would do something inadequate to his body. Ryuuzaki agreed and convinced Light's parents by saying that it was for a biology research and he had to stay in his partner's house for a couple of days. Light's sister was sad, though, wanting her brother to stay to help her with math.

In the Lawliet maison, Watari welcome his master back and made dinner. When serving them, Light, sitting in a Ryuuzaki-pose, finally introduce Ryuuzaki to Watari.

"This is my research partner, Light Yagami. He'll stay with us for a while."

"Oh! Pleasure to meet you Mr Yagami."

"The pleasure is mine." Ryuuzaki shacked Watari's hand.

"If you stay here, I'll have to prepare a room for you."

"Non," said Light. "He'll sleep in my room. Just prepare a bed and some covert."

"Well, I afraid that would be difficult. There is no mobile, portable or inflatable mattress."

"Can't you find anything that can replace mattresses: mats, carpets, cardboards, wooden board?"

Ryuuzaki almost spitted out the piece of pie that he just ate.

"Will Mr Yagami be O.K. on wooden board?"

"He'll be fine; he's used to sleep on hard surfaces."

"I see. Then, I shall find some wooden board for the visitor."

Watari went to check in the basement. He eyes were mad.

Light change his pose back to how he usually sat.

"Hey, Light, I'm not going to sleep on that." Ryuuzaki put down his fork.

"No, you won't. I'm going to sleep on that. How can I let my body suffer on wooden board?"

"You should care about your spiritual comfort, too. Even if you do this just to hurt my body, I'm not the one who is going to feel the pain."

"I just want to have full supervision on my body."

"Just remind you that I never accepted to give your body back. So, in case that you're stuck with my body for the rest of your life, you should take care of it."

"I've told you before. That will never happen."

"You should consider every possibility – oh, you dropped cream on your cloth."

"That's because it's hard to eat when you have your legs on your chair – and you dropped a lot, too."

"I never drop when I sit like how I use to. But your legs aren't flexible enough. By the way, do you consider doing some workout to increase your flexibility?"

"That's out of question!" Light just dropped a big piece of dessert on his shirt.

"It's such a waste!" Ryuuzaki picked up the cake. "Geez, was the conversation too excited that you began to act awkwardly?"

"That's nonsense!"

"Anyhow, I think we should go change. Watari is an intelligent man. If he sees this, he'll begin to ask questions."


	7. How to Use VI

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: VI**

_One night stand is prohibited._

There was nothing in this world that he preferred greater than himself. The marriage of this soul and body was the ideal combination ever occurred in Human creation. His existence was the proof of perfection – his ego, a divine – his pastime, you don't want to know. Indeed, the experience of love with himself was deep, infinite and eternal. There was nothing, absolutely nothing that he had feared before, as long as he was himself. And now, everything had skewed up! Ryuuzaki was attacking strength into his weakest point. "I never accepted to give your body back." Doomed! If he would not ever get it back, he would commit murder and suicide at the same time.

"Ahhhh!" Light woke up in shock by another nightmare. "Ouch!" His back felt sore because of the hardness of his bed. Although it was Ryuuzaki's back, this soreness was annoying him and he kind of regretted to sleep on a wooden board.

Ryuuzaki woke up. He glanced at the night clock: 1:32. "See, I told you that you would wake up overnight."

"The cause isn't the bed."

"The fact that you woke up overnight and you said 'ouch' is already enough as proof."

"Pff." Light ignored Ryuuzaki's arguments and pretended to sleep.

"Hey, don't force yourself to bear further pain that you'll make on my body."

"…"

"Light?" Ryuuzaki got off of his bed and kneeled down beside Light. "You're already asleep?" He poked him and whispered, "You can find a more comfortable spot on my bed. It's big enough for us to share – well, you know how it is."

Of course he knew; he just woke up yesterday morning on that king-sized bed, where he found himself _lost_. Moreover, he still remembered how smooth, soft and heaven-like it was. But there was no way that he would agree to share with that damn rich creep! Never would he allow the body of that creep to get in contact with his perfect divinity.

"Shut up!"

The next morning was, as expected, hard – and worst; Light began with gym class. Thirty laps to run and he couldn't continue after the half. "Hey, Ryuuzaki," a classmate approached, "what's the matter today?" In pain, Light got up to his feet and murmured, "Don't you underestimate me…" But just after this sentience, he fell back onto the ground, his eyes spinning in spiral. Maybe because Ryuuzaki's body wasn't trained enough for this. Is it? Although they were in the same gym class, Light never paid attention to Ryuuzaki's record.

Ryuuzaki came. When he saw Light on the ground, he couldn't resist commenting "Nya!", and he grabbed Light's hand and force Light to continue running – with him. Everyone gazed them in astonishment.

"What are you doing?" Light asked in confusion and embarrassment.

"I just thought if you see yourself leading you through this run, it might encourage you to continue."

"Who do you think you are? You're ruining my figure!"

"Ah," Ryuuzaki said with a smile.

For a second, Light almost felt actually leaded by _himself_. Even thought he kept reminding himself that the person in front of him was only Ryuuzaki and his real body was completely under Ryuuzaki's control, there was something different and almost pleasant about that moment. As he felt the touch of his _own_ hand, the rate of his _own_ breath and the increase of his pulsation, he saw his _own_ smile for the first time. That kind of smile was something that he had never seen before, no matter how many time he looked routinely himself in the mirror before shower, until Ryuuzaki showed him.


	8. How to Use VII

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: VII**

_Don't ask._

Sayu, Light's sister, was moping because of her new math assignment. Pink Ryuk entered from the window. Sayu dropped her pencil and welcome him, "You're back! I brought some apples for you." Ryuk looked at the direction where the girl was pointing. A full plastic bag was lying on the floor. He opened it and touched passionately the surface of one of the red apples.

"Ah! Red as the color of a human heart; it has been 21.245 years that I haven't eat one." Ryuk opened his big mouth and went on munching the entire bag.

"Hm, Ryuk-chan, how comes you can eat material. I mean, you're like a spirit part of the heaven, so you're physically not made with earth material. Therefore it is illogic for an immaterial body to ingest material objects. So I wonder where do those apples go after you eat them."

Ryuk paused his jaw. "Hehehe-hahahahaha! I must say, it's not healthy for little girls to think too deep."

Disappointed that Ryuk wouldn't answer, Sayu turned back to her homework while the apples disappeared rapidly one after another until Ryuk belched.

"So, are you going to write some names today?" The cupid asked in a bored tone.

"I'm not sure. Since the couple that I wrote down yesterday didn't seemed to work."

"You should trust the power of the God of Love."

"But my brother doesn't seem to be able to love himself, and he went to sleep at another guy's house."

"That was part of the plan."

"What plan?"

"Well, there can a common coincidence about your brother's case. When you wrote down his name, someone else also has written his name in another Consort Note. So, in order maintain rationality, only one of the combinations can work."

"What does that mean?"

"It means… For example, you have an apple and three different recipes. But each recipe needs one apple and you only have one apple. So, you can only complete one recipe. But to decide on which one to complete, it's a matter of preference. You understand?"

"… Then, there are limits in your power."

"It was written in the instruction pages."

"Ah! But what's the point of this?"

"It's the most fun part! Where do you think all those dating competition and jalousie and cheating come from?"


	9. How to Use VIII

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: VIII**

_If a person is tagged in more than one consortion, he or she shall have to right to choose his consort, unless he is tagged in a same couple that is written in 4 different Consort Note._

That _something_ that they had to find, it might be soon revealed.

Sitting in his room, Ryuuzaki was reviewing what happened in the past few days. Except that he switched body with Light, something else had changed: he was more addicted to sugar. Before he took about 3000 calories per day, and now the number almost doubled. He didn't seem to grow fat, though, which was a good fact for Light's sake.

Something else was odd, too. Watari looked awkward whenever he was near Light. Something about the old man seemed just wrong. Could it be that he found out that someone else was in his master's body? If that were the case, he should have already started investigating and finding proofs – not stuttering, nor blushing, acting like he was shy. Or sometime, he would play the role of separator or distance keeper whenever Ryuuzaki intentionally approached Light; like during that supper, Ryuuzaki, wanting to have some more sugar, planned to steal Light's last mochi ice cream. But Watari blocked his fork with a knife and said with a serious tone, "Please understand my master's daily caloric needs."

"Ryuuzaki, can you type in the access code?" Light started on the computer. "I need to search something."

"Sure."

Ryuuzaki stood up and walked to the keyboard. As he stopped beside Light and presto typed in the 1024-ditigs code, he quickly gave a glance at Light. It was almost like looking to himself, but he had never realized that he had such big dark circles.

_Loading…_

Something about himself is odd, too. He had the impression that everything was planned by greater force. He never believed in God or fate before, but this cupid thing puzzle was just getting more and more reasonable and explainable. From the first day, he felt attached to Light's body. But what was so good about that body if it were not flexible enough to sit like real Homo sapiens? Still, Ryuuzaki didn't want to give Light's body back. Perhaps, he had already adapted to it, or he thought Light's face was cute. Maybe he simple didn't want to lose it – that something that was found recently, fragile and unstable. Yet, the only way to keep it is to lose it. If this thing were defined as attachment, desire and pain, this must be something called sex; it suited perfectly the definition and the purpose of cupids.

Or is it love?

_Welcome L_

"I like you."

_Preparing your desktop…_

"Was that for the purpose of our investigation?" Light replied finally.

"You can call it that way."

"Oh."

Light didn't seem to experience that feeling. Maybe it wasn't love. Therefore, "Do you want sex?"

"Huh?"

"… Yes?"

"Leave my body alone!"


	10. How to Use IX

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: IX**

_If a person is rejected by the one he's been consorted with:_

_(1) __All entries about him in Consort Note shall disappear, therefore leaving space for new consortions. (This is for economical and environmental purpose.)_

_(2) __His memories about the consortion shall be forgotten, unless he chooses to keep._

Misa looked at Watari's name as it slowly faded to blank. Poor man, did he just confess to Light and got rejected? Misa couldn't imagine how much courage he must have in order to confess his feelings. She suddenly felt guilty and shameful for pairing him up with a young teen. Well, it wasn't really her fault; she didn't know that Consort Note was real, that cupid existed and had power to pair up anyone and anything.

"Did he forget everything about this?" Misa asked to the white cupid.

"No, he chooses to remember," Rem answered. "These things are not that easy to forget, you know?"

"Then I can't let another person experiencing this. I have to save Light. If he gets dumped by Ruuyzaki, I'll never forgive myself!"

"I think you got the situation wrong. Light is about to dump Ryuuzaki."

"Same thing! No matter who gets dumped, I'll be feeling sad. I have to write more details."

"Yeah. But you know? Last time, your details didn't really work."

"Why?"

"Because it didn't respect to Light's personality, so it was qualified as 'too irrational.'"

"Hein? Light didn't cover himself with cream to please Ryuuzaki?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Don't ask."

"But—but it took me so long to write that. Oh, maybe Light prefer cover himself with potato chips! Erg… But Ryuuzaki only likes sweet stuff. Ah! It's too hard! How am I supposed to write detail with respect to their personality? I can't know their exact personality, I'm not God!" Looked like Ram didn't tell that, or Misa didn't realize that Light and Ryuuzaki switched body.

"Then don't write, or… If you're interested, I can give you the Cupid Eyes that can see the complete love profile of anyone you look at. You'll be able to see their relationship statue, who they are interested in, what they are looking for, etc. But there is a coast to it, that is you shall never find true love."

"Cupid Eyes… I have no need of that ability."

"You're not interested?"

"Hell, yeah! But if I have to give up true love, I don't want it."

"Ok. You can still make this deal with me whenever you want."

"Hehe… That will never happen."


	11. How to Use X

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: X**

_If the details are to complex and involved too many actions of unwritten people, there will simply be a safe sex scene._

Actually, Watari didn't confess anything to Light. He quitted himself, thought that he should never have the right to desire someone that young. But Light did confess something after eating too much potato chips, "May God and all spirit of nature be witnesses of my declaration today; I and only I shall love myself – only myself – until the end of time … num num num!" This declaration was the ultimate weapon that destroyed all Watari's hope. The old man didn't have much anyway. But he felt relief, as if a long psychological war had ended. Maybe it was simply better like this, that his master was narcissistic, he thought. Really, his master was narcissistic – he wondered why he never realized that.

Because it was not his master of course. The one that he felt suddenly in love is Light, but he couldn't only see Light through his real master's body. The misunderstanding was unavoidable; how could he have the knowledge to suppose that body switching was possible? However, it was strange, he thought, because he never felt that way before. And something about the guest Ryuuzaki's body attracted him. And since when his master liked to eat potato chip instead of sweets? Anyhow, the old man could finally leave the battle field and enjoy some peace now. So after Light finished his last bag of potato chips, Watari threw the garbage away and went to the kitchen to wash the dishes.

With some difficulty, Ryuuzaki helped Light to walk and climb the stairs to their room with. Unlike Watari, he didn't lose hope. It must be true to say that meaning was in the interpretation of the perceiver.

After closing the door, Ryuuzaki dropped Light onto the bed. "Phew, you're so heavy."

"Ah, I ate too much."

"Exactly. Do you have reaction after eating potato chips? You look drunk, potato-chips-holic."

"Usually I don't eat that much."

"This time must be an unusual case."

"Hehehe…"

Someone must have written down details. Or paired up Light with potato chips.

"Why do you like yourself that much?"

Light sat up. "Do I have to answer that?"

"Any information might lead us to the end of the investigation."

"Because…" Light paused. He was too close to _his_ body again. He could smell his genetic odor mixed with a soft sugar scent. His eyes fell along _his_ nose to _his_ lips, and turned to _his_ jaw line, _his_ perfect neck and clavicles. "It's inherited."

"… Seriously?"

"Ryuuzaki, I'm telling you. I will make you to give my body back. Nothing, not even an army of cupid can stop me!"

Surprised, Ryuuzaki laughed and pushed Light against the bed. "Sure you will. But before, I'll make your body and soul mine."


	12. How to Use XI

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: XI**

_If one exists, then the opposite exists, too._

The dark circles had grown bigger the next day. If it weren't because Sayu wrote complex details, Light wouldn't have to have safe sex with _himself_. When he woke up by his natural morning call and found him and _his_ body naked on Ryuuzaki's bed, he exploded, like volcano eruption, or NASA's spacecraft launching.

"Don't blame me," Ryuuzaki said sleepily without opening his eyes. "You are the one who rapped yourself."

It was true. Light still remembered everything; he, as stupid as it sounded, controlled Ryuuzaki's body and dirtied _himself_. Now, he was all fucked up.

"RAAAAAAAAAH!"

"Honey! I'm still sleeping!"

"Shut up! RAAAAAAAAAH!"

Ryuuzaki sat up. "When can you step out of your self-centeredness? You dirtied my body, too. So take responsibility."

"That's the ending you wanted, right? You must have put drug in my potato chips!"

Ryuuzaki slapped Light. He then pushed away the blankets. "I'll go take a shower..." His feet landed on the cold floor, trying to sense his slippers. "I.e.: clean up the mess for you."

Ryuuzaki put on a piece of fabric and went to the washroom while Light caressed his cheeks, trying to understand this pain.

Meanwhile, at several kilometers away, Mikami was walking peacefully on a windy street and a dark blue notebook brought by the wind current hit his face. Unpleased, he took it off and read the title "Disconsort Note".


	13. How to Use XII

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: XII**

_The human whose name is written in the note shall break up._

_You may write two or more names with a Y between them to specify a wanted disconsortion._

Gelous was part of the rebels in the cupid realm. He never used Consort Note and had contact with the God of Hatred. 760 years ago, he fell in love with a mortal boy who was in relationship with his dog. Because Gelous was jealous, so he used illegally the Disconsort Note to break up them. Immediately after he wrote down their names, he got banished from the cupid realm and locked in his Disconsort Note. But the notebook was accidentally dropped into the human world. Since then, whoever found it would gradually get possessed by Gelous. _Hehehe-Hahahahaha!_

Mikami turned around, "who's that?" The road was empty, but a voice was echoing from all places. "Show yourself!" Mikami continued turning around until he got dizzy.

"Pitiful mortal," the voice hummed, "I'll make you enjoy the power of jealousy."

Later, when Mikami finally arrive at school, he saw Ryuuzaki and Light eating their breakfast in class – together – eating from the same lunch box. He quietly calmed himself down and went to his desk, pretending not hearing their conversation.

"Don't eat all the cookies. Leave some for me."

"They are too good, no wonder you like them."

"Hehe… You're cute."

Light had almost spited out. What got into Ryuuzaki to say that embarrassing thing in front of the class? However, what Mikami heard was not Ryuuzaki said "hehe… You're cute" but, rather, Light said "hehe… You're cute" to Ryuuzaki. He was about to explode. Why that bastard deserved to be called "cute"?

"Yeah, why?" Gelous' voice hummed again. "You know Light since you were little. Why you're not the one he is with now?" Mikami took out Disconsort Note from his bag. "Use it," Gelous continued. "Once they are separated, you can have him back again." Mikami looked at the title once again, heisting.

Ten years before, Mikami was constantly bullied at school and it wasn't until Light had shined up that he finally saw hope. Since that day, he was secretly deeply in love with Light. He studied so hard just to be able to go in the school where Light would go. He even begged the academy administration to put him in the same class as Light.

"What are you waiting for? This is your chance. Write down their name. I can guarantee that you will be satisfied."

Right, this was his chance; God must have heard his cry and sent this ex-cupid along with Disconsort Note to him. What better could he wait for? What better could there be? Proceed now, to breakup!


	14. How to Use XIII

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: XIII**

Sub-rule #1

_If a consortion has been later on written as a disconsortion, all entries about the consortion will disappear._

_The vice-versa is possible._

Misa was hoping to see a cute confession scene at school. But instead, she saw her details fading away. All entries about Ryuuzaki and Light were gone. With disbelieve, she ran onto the roof and called the cupid. "Ram, where the hell are you?" Facing the sky, she turned herself around, searching for an answer, until she got dizzy.

"Geez, what's up?" Rem appeared, surfing the clouds with her angelic wings. "Why do you have to call me this early in the morning? I was having my beauty sleep." She landed on her feet.

Misa threw the notebook on Rem's face. "What is the meaning of this? Explain! You never tell me anything! This is not fair!"

Rem grabbed Consort Note and looked inside – thinking that Misa must be having her menstrual cycle again. "What do you want to know?"

"Why is everything gone? Light and Ryuuzaki were perfectly together this morning. They even ate breakfast together! After an hour, all my stuffs are gone. How can this be possible?"

"Not everything is gone. You still have Ryuuzaki X sugar."

"Tell me why!"

"Did you read the instructions about Disconsort Note."

Suddenly, Misa understood everything. She didn't pay attention to those rules since they were not directly applicable to Consort Note. "Then, what can I do now?"

"You don't have to stick with that couple. You can match up other people."

"I don't want them to break up."

"There is a way to remake the consortion, which is to find the other notebook and burn it. Then, you may rewrite Light X Ryuuzaki in your Consort Note."

"How can I find that?"

"If you have the Cupid Eyes, it will be easy, because you will be able to see anyone's love profile except yours and other Consort or Disconsort Note users."

"But... In exchange of true love…"

"Don't you want to save that couple? Don't you want to be the God of Love? Can you accept the fact that the power of hatred is greater than the power of love?" Misa hesitated, Rem continued, "If you want to excel in one thing, you have to pay a price – just like Facebook's games. It's all about business, girl."

Sub-rule #2

_If a consortion or a disconsortion about some people becomes reality, then, in another Notebook, all entries having those people will disappear._

Sayu just came back from school. She ran to the kitchen, stole four red apples and ran to her room, where Ryuk was waiting impatiently, reading the Disney version of _Snow White_. "Oh, my apples are finally here. Hm… I have to make sure that they are not poisoned."

"Idiot!" The girl laughed and went to study for her martial art exam.

"Hey, Sayu. I have good news for you." The ill-mannered cupid didn't stop eating while talking. "I think you won!"

"I won? For what?"

"Your brother is now officially matched with himself."

"Really?" Sayu was impressed about Light's narcissism. But this wasn't really a good new because it meant that her brother would always stay alone and she would never have a niece or a nephew.

"But don't be too happy about this because of the last rule."

Sub-rule #3

_It is possible to remake a consortion or disconsortion if the Notebook with the actual consortion or disconsortion is destroyed, e.g.: burned into ashes or decomposed by some divine worms._

Mikami couldn't write it. He felt too guilty for using Disconsort Note on Light, and even guiltier for breaking Light's heart. If he really loved him, he should accept Light for the way he is, not forcing Light to love him back.

"Where did you learn that?" Gelous asked. With all those wise saying that were being circulating lately, it was hard for Gelous to gain influence. In the media, many dramas and TV shows had those ubiquitous theories about love – all ostentatious lies that made Gelous sick. Those foolish human didn't know anything about jealousy. "Don't listen to other people; they'll make you suffer more!"

"No!" Mikami shouted and stood up, alone in his room. "You're the one who is making me suffering! Get out of my body! Get out!"

"You haven't even try Disconsort Note yet. How can you refuse me like that?"

"Shut up! Or else I'll destroy it!" Mikami took the notebook and went to the kitchen. He started the stove and put the notebook on it.

"What are you doing? Foolish mortal!" Gelous try to control Mikami to stop the stove. Since he was locked in Disconsort Note, the destruction of the notebook could cause him to disappear. Gelous managed somehow to move Mikami's hand a little, but the bound of his possession wasn't strong enough to do more.

"Get out of me! Or else I'll burn you, too!"

Did he really mean that? Gelous didn't care; no mortal would kill himself just for this, he thought.


	15. How to Use XIV

**Consort Note **(Valentine's Special!)

**How to Use: XIV (final rule)**

_Consortions and disconsortions are generally unstable. This law is proven by statistical evidences._

It was Tuesday, February 15. Mikami didn't come to school. Maybe he was sick, rather than been combusted by a stove. Illness was what most people would likely to believe; some might hope that the illness would not remain forever. But none of their hypotheses were right. It was announced from the news that Mikami tried to commit suicide with a stove while his mother was making ramen. "It was indeed a very unusual attempt," the reporter added. "Now the boy is resting in a psychiatric hospital."

Light passed by the group of gossip guys. Those rumors didn't catch his attention; he was too occupied thinking about himself. Finally, he got his body back. He still didn't figure out what was the something that he was supposed to find, but it didn't matter anymore. However…

"Light-honey!" Everyone stopped gossiping and looked at the direction where the calling was from. There, at the end of the corridor, stood a silhouette with a bent back and big dark circles, and a cake.

"Ryuuzaki?"

Like a monkey, Ryuuzaki ran to Light and jump on him. In front of such astonish scene, spectators wonder what got into those two. Usually, people only see Light jumping Ryuuzaki. Now, why did they suddenly switch role?

Nay, the consortion was not finish yet? Someone must be dying to pair up those two. Love was unstable, and may be spontaneously reactive. With Ryuuzaki who was so hyper-calorific, who knew what might happen to Light.

_End of instructions_

_You may now proceed to write_

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**A/N: Hope you had a happy Valentine's Day and t****hanks everyone who leaved reviews, alerted, favorited and read the story. **


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